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Resources for Relationship and Marriage Problems

Writer's picture: cameronmosleycameronmosley

romantic relationship problems

Romantic relationships (and lack thereof) can be one of the biggest causes of distress for people. We all want to be loved and we all want to get along well with the people closest to us. When things are going wrong in this arena, nothing else may seem as important.

 

While, of course, there is always marriage counseling as an option, I wanted to provide some resources for those who might need relationship support but are not able to access it currently. There are two books that I highly recommend to learn skills for making a romantic relationship work. I also am a true believer that even just one of the partners taking these skills seriously (initially) can make a huge difference toward improvement in the relationship.

 

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

 

Dr. John Gottman has researched marriages (and their demise) for 30+ years. Through one factor (which I’ll let you read!), he has been able to predict which couples’ relationships end in divorce. This book summarizes his research and the factors that can make or break a relationship. I highly recommend seeking a Gottman-trained therapist for couples counseling. Of course, you do not have to be married to benefit from the principles of this book.

 

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

 

Dr. Gary Chapman is a marriage counselor who created the concept of love languages. Although most people have heard of this concept, what I learned from the book is that you and/or your partner might be wrong on which is truly your love language, which might lead to your “love tank” being left on empty. He also discusses how just one partner working on speaking the love language of the other can make movement toward relationship improvement.

 

Both of these authors have many online resources that can be helpful in addition to the books!

 

What I might suggest is both partners reading a certain amount of pages/chapters per week and then having a weekly “meeting” (date, preferably!) to discuss their learning and how they want to apply the concepts to their relationship.

 

Now, what if you’re single? Recently, I have encountered research-based coaching in attachment styles that can be utilized by someone single or in a brand new relationship to ensure that they have the tools necessary to sustain a healthy romantic relationship.

 

Of course, I want to also mention the potential for abuse in relationships. For someone experiencing domestic violence, here is a resource to move toward safety. For someone who is concerned they may be the abuser in their relationship, here is a resource to seek support. Obviously, some relationships are not capable of moving forward and safety is the highest priority for one or both partners.


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